Writing to Survive
This isn’t just another blog post for me, it’s an outlet. Writing here is one of the few ways I can make sense of everything I experience and still hold on.
I’ve been trapped by my own emotions for years, I kept everything hidden, incapable of maintaining close relationships without masking. I learned how to perform for society like one does in a circus while carrying deep seated childhood trauma, anxiety and depression. Being my nuclear family’s scapegoat, something widley normalised across society, carries a kind of sadness. Someone is always chosen to bear that role either within theielr own family or even that of their community. How that happens is at the centre of human behaviour, the subconscious sacrifice within family and cultural dynamics, all for the benefit of “society”. Nonetheless, no form of medication or self help work erases the effect that role has on the living memory of “the chosen one”. This burden is passed on to the body and the mind, which keeps score. Some people handle it better than others, accept their fate imposed upon them, becoming exactly what society chose for them. Others don’t survive and others, well they live out this pain body in multiple elements of their life, passing on this horrid gift to the next and the next, sometimes consciously, but mostly without knowing the hurt they pay forward. However in an era of explosive Artificial General Intelligence, I like to call it “General AI, Sir!” social enginnering is becoming transparent and the game is changing – for those that can break free of their patterns, this is the time for exponential personal growth and harnessing that supercomputer power is key.
Sharing my patterns openly feels terrifying but it’s also freeing. Every word I type is a reminder that my voice matters even when it shakes. I know I’m not the only one who feels personally broken and at the same time, despite internal dialogue saying otherwise, brilliant.
If you’re reading this and you’ve been through childhood abuse, mental illness, toxic interpersonal relationships, live with imposter syndrome, or you are just sick and tired of being that scapegoat for your family or your community in general, you’re not alone. I’m writing because I need connection to stay alive. Comments, shared stories, and honest conversation can be lifelines. By opening up, I hope to create a space with you where shared survival and growth are possible.
This is a place to collectively breathe, to write and share, and to heal.
My Hope – I don’t have all the answers. Some days are very dark. But I believe there is still a future where healing is possible, where I can rewrite my own story and you, yours. If you’ve been through something similar and want to connect, or if you simply want to offer a kind word, please leave a comment. Your insight might help me and others keep going.
